Jack Lennon
“Careermaxxing affirmations”
I do not have bad vibes
Everyone in my workplace wishes I was leading the zoom meeting
Next year I will be She-E-O
I will complete a 777-hour shift
Despite the accusations
I am normal
I will pay off all Klarna payments on my Vetements briefcase
My contributions to the blue-sky brainstorming session are valued and make everyone hard
and wet
My skincare routine is having a noticeable impact
I will dominate all the members of my team mentally, physically, and psychologically
£777,000 is waiting to enter my bank account, if I can only let it
I will not block my own manifest destiny
My employee review details all the ways I am loved, the way I am supposed to be
I do not fear universal heat death
It’s so easy for me to earn a million pounds and I will do it every day
For a year
women in the workplace women in the workplace girlboss girlboss girlboss
Everyone at work thinks my clothing choices are subversive and cutting edge or they think
they are exactly on trend so normal they cease to be noticeable by the human eye
I am quiet luxury, I am corporate slut-core, I am the office siren they think I am and I am
Everyone at work is my enemy and they flash in front of my desk like deer KILL KILL KILL
KILL!
The reason no-one asks me for a drink or hangs out with me or talks to me is because
they know love is the only force that drives me
When I go home at night the emptiness is making room
for all my manifestations
My woman boss is mother
Mother is serving
Mother is fulfilling
Mother is mothering
I left my hometown behind because it wasn’t serving me
Not because of the horrors
I’m minmaxing my therapy growth journey
I’m setting boundaries with my feelings
I have haters and they’re all narcissist toxic energy vampires
My girlboss era is in full effect
I’m synergizing my pain
I’m breaking 777 generational curses
I am setting interdimensional expectations
I will drive a Tesla in five years
Life will not drown me in it
I will become so important
I will never have to speak to another person
My fillers will never migrate
My botox will continue botox-ing
My skin will remain clear
My flop era will never come
God please save me
From my flop era
Jack Lennon (they/them) is bi and trans as hell. You can find their work in Witch Craft Magazine, The Selkie, Mycelia, Clav Mag and 404 Ink’s The F Word. They live in Edinburgh.
They are one of the few still posting on tumblr @maso-kist.
